


I Liked it Better When I Didn't Have Friends

by God_Help_Me



Category: Original Work
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, POV Second Person, Texting, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done, what is happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22123084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God_Help_Me/pseuds/God_Help_Me
Summary: Jan. 3, 2020 - 7:05 PMDakota State: Guys we should have a f o u r s o m eTall Asshole: W h yDakota State: r e a s o n sSo is that a yes or no to the foursomeTall Asshole: Maybe?





	I Liked it Better When I Didn't Have Friends

Jan. 3, 2020 - 9:14 PM

You: y am i friends with u

Dakota State: Oh we’re more than friends daddy~  
\----------------------------------  
Imagine being in 7th grade, eyes bright, high hopes for the future, then realizing your friends are fucking mental. Now, you have a variety of friends - ranging from “tired of everyones bs” to “the kinkiest person you know.” And with every interaction you have with these people, you realize that humanity is doomed.

Now, you try to reason with yourself that your friends aren’t always like this, right? But looking back at all the messages you come to the depressing conclusion that, yes, they are. At this point in time being drafted in the next world war doesn’t seem so bad.  
\----------------------------------  
Dec. 24, 2019 - 1:25 PM

kAreN: Yes  
Dick  
Dick dick dick  
Dick  
Ha it works  
Ya Ya  
Yay*

You: w h a t 

kAreN: Dick  
Sick dick dick  
Dick

You: tf is happening  
\----------------------------------  
It’s noon, you recently woke up, and here it is. The confusion that comes with your friends. Now, this is expected from the others, but kAreN? He’s supposed to be the most reasonable one in your group of society rejects, but here he is, disappointing you even though you had no expectations.

He gave a reason for doing the shit he did, but it made no sense. So you ignore and attempt to go on with your sad, miserable life.

\----------------------------------  
Nov. 23, 2019 - 12.26 AM

Identity theft is not a joke jim: *Four images of cat girls*  
\----------------------------------  
Fair enough, you know the person who is sending those images isn’t the actual phone owner. It’s Dakota State, she was sleeping at a friends house and stole her phone. You told her to save cat girls to the phone.

Mission accomplished.  
\----------------------------------  
Dec. 21, 2019 - 8:26 PM

You: Aight, so whats your opinion on communism

Emrys: It’s vodka  
\----------------------------------  
You didn’t know what to expect with Emrys, you didn’t know their named so you gave them one. But the only reason you have his number is because he is Dakota States’ Ex and she wanted you to hit on him.

But his response is valid.  
\----------------------------------  
Dec. 30, 2019 - 2:01 PM

Tall Asshole: I’m on monster musume side  
I am having an arguement whether monster musume or High School DxD is   
Better, and I need backup

You: i r e f u s e 

Tall Asshole: Damn it  
\----------------------------------  
To be honest, you should have expected this when you came into the group chat, the group chat that was used for spamming anime girls. You still have no idea why it was created. When this group chat was created you knew not to introduce Tall Asshole to harem anime, but you did. And that was a mistake.

But you don’t regret it, because among harem animes, lies Goblin Slayer, something that you and Tall Asshole enjoy, along with German For Mistake, who is somehow in the groupchat as well.  
\----------------------------------  
Sep. 17, 2019 - 7:01

You: u fucking twat

German For Mistake: Eat a dick  
\----------------------------------  
This was said in response to an entourage of anime girls sent to you.  
\----------------------------------  
Nov. 14, 2019 - 11:38 AM

You: im back with my bullshit

hoes r not bros: Bruh

You: w h a t 

hoes r not bros: PICK UP

You: w h a t

hoes r not bros: Pick up boo

You: pick up what bro

hoes r not bros: The face time

You: nah im good

hoes r not bros: who r u actually tho

You: k a i

hoes r not bros: no thats actually my name

hoes r not bros: Kai  
Kai

You: yeah

hoes r not bros: Haha  
No  
Ur not Kai

You: yes I am?

hoes r not bros: Then pick up

You: no i dont know ur name  
\----------------------------------  
You knew their name, you just didn’t want them to see your face. Because if they saw your face, they would recognize you as your dead name. And that was something you wanted to avoid, accompanied by the fact that the two of you aren’t actually friends.

You just have their number because you were in a class group chat with them.  
\----------------------------------  
Jan. 4, 2020 - 7:57 PM

Tiny Human: *Picture of a sink dildo*  
I was only trying to make a faucet on the sink, but it turned into...um...this  
Brb gotta go die

You: o k  
\----------------------------------  
Okay.  
\----------------------------------  
Jan. 3, 2020 - 8:53 PM

Dakota State: dAdDy

Tall Asshole: What son

You: no

kAreN: wtf

You: this is the shit i havebto deal with

kAreN: who is the other bruh

You: *other bruh’s name*

kAreN: im srry

Tall Asshole: *other bruh’s name*

kAreN: oh

You: i just wannablisten to anime op and draw

Dakota State: fUcK mE dAdDy

You: HELP  
\----------------------------------  
As said before, humanity is doomed.

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh, the entire purpose of this was to get me back into writing. All of the text is pulled from the random shit my friends message me. All spelling mistakes are intentional as that was how they originally were


End file.
